Who is my worst enemy you ask? Well that would be me. There is nobody on this planet more critical of me than me. This is just a fact of life for me. I can't help it. Whenever I do something wrong, I'm the one who obsesses. Others might even say it doesn't matter, but my inner monologue will still go the way I expect. Me berating myself. Inner me is rarely constructive with critisicm. It's usually a barrage of insults. Sure, sometimes inner me is very constructive, but normally, I already know what I must do in order to improve. Inner me doesn't need to tell me, so he doesn't. He just insults. Funny how that works huh? Self-deprication is one of the best ways for me to deal with my failures. Agreeing with inner me brings me inner peace. Sure, we argue on occasion. But mostly I just agree. Voicing this to others as well. I think self-depricating humor is the way to go. I love it. So just like with my arrogance, there are layers. It's a joke too.
Is it worth it? There is a stark difference between merely getting better at something and changing. Is change necessarily good? The way I do things is messed up to most people. I don't know why, but it is. They say that I don't sleep enough. I shouldn't stay up until 3 in the morning. They say I procrastinate too much. I should get my work done early. Stuff like that. To that I say, I'm happy. I get my work done. My way of doing things has made me successful. So why change? Why change what isn't broken? Could I be even better? Sure. But would I be happy? No. I need to enjoy life. How can I expect to ever find my genuine thing If I don't? In my case, the question is whether the ends justify the means. I'm happy with the way I live. I also get done what is necessary, to a point. I have trouble remembering to brush my teeth, eat, excercise, etc. Mostly things that effect my health. It's not like I don't do those things, I'm just not consistent eno...
Sometimes, I think I suck. I know, shocking. The magnificent king of jackasses has insecurities. But you know, I only ACT like an arrogant jackass. I'm not ACTUALLY that arrogant. Remember social law #1? The more somebody acts arrogant, the less likely they are to be arrogant. Generally speaking, this is true. Ask any first year psychology student, overwhelming arrogance is usually a mask for insecurities. The same definitely applies to me. I don't like to appear as if I'm constantly anxious about the things I say and do. I mean, social anxiety basically comes with the territory of being autistic, but that doesn't mean I have to advertise the fact. Its not like I am unconfident in my intelligence or my abilities. Or anything like that. Mostly it's just my social skills I am uncertain about. I do tend to see through people, but being able to do that and socializing are two separate things. Of course, I also think it's funny when I'm super arrogant. So its als...
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