My worst enemy and Self-deprication

Who is my worst enemy you ask? Well that would be me. There is nobody on this planet more critical of me than me. This is just a fact of life for me. I can't help it. Whenever I do something wrong, I'm the one who obsesses. Others might even say it doesn't matter, but my inner monologue will still go the way I expect. Me berating myself. Inner me is rarely constructive with critisicm. It's usually a barrage of insults. Sure, sometimes inner me is very constructive, but normally, I already know what I must do in order to improve. Inner me doesn't need to tell me, so he doesn't. He just insults. Funny how that works huh? Self-deprication is one of the best ways for me to deal with my failures. Agreeing with inner me brings me inner peace. Sure, we argue on occasion. But mostly I just agree. Voicing this to others as well. I think self-depricating humor is the way to go. I love it. So just like with my arrogance, there are layers. It's a joke too.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Incels are equal parts interesting and sad

I was watching a video made by TL;DR. Who makes amazing evidence driven videos on youtube. He decided to talk about the issue of social isolation and how that affects incels. He made some interesting points that got me thinking. I would definitely recommend the video if you have some interest in the subject yourself. Personally, I find incels to be rather pitiable, but interesting nonetheless. Incels are entirely unique to the modern era. Sure, there may have been incels throughout history; however, they were not very vocal about that. We now live in the era where you can be extremely vocal no matter who you are. So maybe these people have always existed, but we are now finding out about them. Either way, it is definitely an interesting study in social interactions between humans. For those that do not know, an incel is an involuntary celibate. Meaning they want to have a romantic partner, but cannot find one. I won't repeat the points made in the TL;DR video. If you want to watch
Read more

I wish I wasn't different

Sometimes I wish I was born a different person. Someone normal. Without autism or ADHD. Normal. Why? Because no matter how many times your football coach told you being normal sucks, it's better than being abnormal. Being abnormal makes life harder than it already is by a Longshot. Using myself as an example. I had a hell of a childhood. I'll be the first one to say it could've been worse, but alot of the bad parts really stick with me and still hurt me to this day. Constantly marginalized and mocked and laughed at by everyone around you. Imagine a school life where it was rare for anyone to be even remotely nice to you. When they were, it was out of pity rather than actual kindness. Imagine growing up through that and life getting harder in different ways. Being unable to read body language, understand jokes or sarcasm. Hard time with empathy.  Hard time understanding emotion in general. Both yours and others'. Inability to read social situations and act accordingly. I
Read more

Laziness

It's been a while yet again since I last kept up with this. Mostly I've just been lazy. The title of this post. Laziness. As is common with me, I find myself wondering who I want to be. I'm a musician now. I play in a band called Gigas and it's alot of fun. That's where I've been focusing alot of my effort, and it's been therapeutic for me much like how this blog was. But it's wrought me a ton of questions. Like whether I want to pursue music as a career. It's something I've pretty much always wanted to do. Ever since I was little. But you know. It's not something to be relied on. So my fall back is law school. Yeah that's right, me a lawyer. It's pretty nuts to think about. But is it what I really want? I find myself dating this girl. And I like her, I really do. But part of me wonders whether I should be with her. Whether I'm at my best at my worst. Weird as that may sound, I often feel it's true. That I'm most miserable
Read more